Buzzing round barstools

Movement muffled by peoples chatter

Lining rims of pint glasses   with tiny bits of fecal matter

No one notices

Nestle myself in the cleavage of the hostess’s tits

She smells of cheap perfume and strawberry Chap Stick

Cutting off Bukowski from his last drink 

“You fucking fascist!

If you wasn’t a female, you’d get your ass kicked”

That’s exactly what happens   but in reverse

Red-faced war vet, bloodied upon the street turf

Flopping on the curb like a flounder

Mopped up by the pulsing hands of marbled bouncers


Buzz back to the table with the pretty slut

Titties tucked, shitty drunk   handing out pity fucks

Legs open wide for any Tom, Dick, or hank

Just a couple shots away from another big mistake

Either way it’s jaded, cause that girl is someone’s daughter

No STDs for me   I’m just looking out for fly swatters…


Last week the cook almost hit me in the kitchen

Bitching cause I’m always buzzing round   landing on his chicken

Saw him spitting in some grease-laden bar food

Than serve to some asshole posted on a barstool

Fool shoulda’ carpooled   can’t even speak a sentence

Dumb domestic drunk   been a week or two of binging

No one wanna listen to him ramble bout his wealth

Only homie is Jack Daniels   so he’s sitting by himself

Folding cards let life has dealt   stone drunk with a poker face

Undressing the spaghetti straps on some college girl’s shoulder blades

Older age   doesn’t have a chance with this young chick

She declines

He retorts, “Run away you a dumb bitch”


Flap my wings and fly away   from the smoking and the boozing

These stupid schmucks can’t help themselves 

I guess they’re only human